The sexism of "Have you tried networking?" for women in all professions
The go to response from everyone who acts like women haven't done it for decades with failure
Do it. All members of the female population reading this, ask a random person for advice. You will be told to network. This journal has pet peeves, and this is one. People, quit telling women in every career path to go networking or asking us if we’ve tried it, like you ask if we are adults and have yet to try cheese once.
What networking at restaurants, LinkedIn, golf courses, dinner parties, and everywhere gets men is business deals, friendships, life buddies, mentors, and recommendation letters. Wall Street gigs. Small business investors. Silicon Valley investors. Film financing. Managerial opening referrals. Normalcy.
What women get, entertainers or standard folks, speaking as someone who thinks the “real world” job economy is far more sexist and creepier than the world of film/music based on my experiences:
“Cute shoes!” when you show up dressed for the job you want.
“Why don’t you use self tanner?” when you show up not made up like a circus clown in bronzer.
Invitations to be someone’s mistress or date.
Invitations from people to do things that begin with meeting at a bar late at night.
Invasive questions about your private life.
Trying to set you up with a twice your age divorced dad of five when you are in your 20’s, as if you have a sign on your head saying your presence at a work function means you applied for a creepy dating app.
People telling you to “stay in school” when you told them you graduated early from your university.
Nobody paying attention to anything you are saying.
People wanting gossip.
Wildly inappropriate things I cannot say in this journal entry.
All while you have to sit there and excuse yourself, because to insult someone might cause a scene. Do you want to be the bad one?
Of the above, many of those reducing women to nothing are fellow women. Sure, ladies, I’d love to show up at a business function telling about myself so I can be “set up” with your nephew.
I thoroughly enjoy being whisked around on a golf cart so along the journey, you inform me how well to do your family is and how your son needs a girlfriend like me, then shove your son in front of me at the venue because you called him to show up. Use a dating service for him, please.
I don’t need any of this.
To every out of touch person advising women to do this, please quit. A handshake isn’t a handshake of equality for women when we “network.”
Yeah, I tried LinkedIn. Did the in person round abouts. Met influential people and those grifters pretending to be. You can meet the entire Rolodex of people covered by The New York Times. All they will want is what I said. The end.
No happy fairy tale ending in sight.
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