Film Review: "Kiss of the Spider Woman" (2025)

A flawed movie that is enjoyable while falling very short of perfection. I forgive you, movie.

This movie tries so hard at Oscar baiting. Where does it go right? Wrong? Must be some reason why a $2 million box office payday failed for a movie that cost $30 million and probably all went to Ms. Lopez’s savings account, with $100,000 left for the cast and crew to throw something together.

Perhaps when you want an Academy Award, don’t have an entire scene where a man poos his pants and we see the slush in his underwear as he cleans it. 🤢 Sure, we needed that to move the story along.

This film was based on a 1992 musical, based on a 1976 novel. When it’s good, it’s really good. GLAAD knows a thing or two by awarding this recognition. The story was ahead of its time with its LGBTQ positive social commentary and historical nuance.

J.Lo plays some version of “tabloid perception of Jennifer Lopez” on camera again. The Wedding Planner J.Lo works because we aren’t expecting deep acting. You see how out of place she is in the musical number set in the jungle, were Josefina Scaglione’s Marta sings over with her and takes turns. J.Lo is a beautiful woman. In her youth with a whole lot more height on her, maybe she would’ve been a Victoria’s Secret Angel.

Kiss of the Spider Woman is not a Y2K Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. We see her pouting, dancing, looking at the camera, think music video of 2002 vibes. We don’t see her escaping into a character or singing away from her “Jenny From the Block” musicality. I am a firm believer that anyone can sing any genre when it’s coaxed out of them. For this to work, the actor/actress has to be willing to go for it.

My rule of thumb is in this journal, I won’t write anything I would avoid saying to someone’s face. I love Ms. Lopez in the right playful roles. I love NYC accents so much, in my early 20’s, learning them with help from others and eavesdropping on people in daily life to do so was part of my acting independent study DIY was my acting course I never had at a university. With that said, I don’t love J.Lo’s more nasally than average NYC boroughs accent singing and speaking in a role playing an Argentinean woman in a role that wasn’t made for her. Puerto Rican heritage and playing a role as if there is a shortage of talent actually from Argentina? Loving the people in charge of this who act like Puerto Rico is the same thing culturally and in heritage as Argentina, as if all people look and sound alike because of the same language.

Acting is called acting because you aren’t playing yourself. We really needed actually Argentinean leading lady and Tony winner Josefina Scaglione in the lead and someone else in Josefina’s here.

The sets are the love letter to my fave time period, the Golden Age of Hollywood. I love the tie ins to Latin America and styles. Gorgeous.

The prison scenes setup filming looks like a night soap. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s the pacing or the angles, it doesn’t look or feel like an Oscar movie for the hoopla of Oscar campaigning that went into this. A little rushed. Sad, because the scenes’ value is huge for how well acted it is, when good, with the passion and lesson learning.

On March 20, 2024, Lopez announced that production on the film had begun, with the intention to have a fast turnaround time so she can launch her This Is Me... Live tour on June 26, which was later cancelled on May 31… Her "elaborate" musical numbers were each filmed in one take.

— Wikipedia

Explains everything, doesn’t it? Her big Oscar campaign built on this movie, but she goes about rushing the film production for a stage tour?

Watch it, screen it, sing it, and forgive it for where this movie lets us down. And enjoy how authentic it is when as with all things in Latin America, Spanish speaking prisoners opt for English the whole way in. 😉 Now this movie, tightened up and en español would be a spectacle to see.