"Diamonds Are Forever," As Are Online Images of You in Theatrical Wardrobe

A fair warning that your Halloween outfit might have people thinking you go to the office like that daily

The days when you regret not doing cosplay in a giant pumpkin happy face costume!

Guys aren’t held up to people thinking, “Joe is going to walk in here dressed like a cosplay or a role he had on TV. A temporary haircut or vibe.” I am. Women are. Hooray.

I haven’t had self tanner/wash off body makeup, inky black hair and dyed brows as real ones are Calico cat orange-light brown-white 18+, or anything much for a long time. The inky black dye, and sometimes chocolate brown dye, was something I did to please other people from the times of childhood. Age 7 onwards, people wanted me in dark hair. Don’t do that. It never works. “You get more work as a brunette!” Sometimes, “You get more work as a light blonde!” Uh huh. So I have to change my pale skin tone to any mix of peach or supernatural orange and some hard to upkeep deep brunette to get work? Sorry, my inner being and talent shines. I’m not auditioning for the role of Bob Barker in a Lifetime, Television for Women! movie.

Or that time I loved my Elizabeth Taylor sort-of-cosplay images. Peachy skin, violet eyes, lashes enhanced by photo magic. Taller, not longer, hair by clip in synthetic pieces. Brows by dye and pencil. Voila! Cosplay for myself. Fun! Child me always wanted to dress up like a 1950’s Golden Age film star.

That time I chopped off my hair to get all the black ink out because no bleach could lift it right.

All online search engine results will have you thinking my supermarket runs are in Elizabeth Taylor cosplay. My auburn hair is a lob. My eyebrows are naturally Pee Wee Herman. Really annoying when people expect 1950’s Liz wannabe and get actual me. No hate, I love those images. Enjoy one.

Perhaps this venting post could be themed, “Why do men not get called out for costumes, and I do?” “Why does society not think first and know hair and brow dye exists?” I used to as a kid have to lie about dying my strawberry bronde hair age 7 onwards and using no-makeup makeup at school because adults found it “AWFUL!!!!” as kids my age were trying their first beers. The 12 year olds smoking outside. Ombré obsessed me had to have the beach girl root to tip fake look I saw on everyone when I was out of town often. And I got questions about not embracing my “natural” look when I dyed my hair blonde or dark black, like, face palm. Hair dye is a thing. Kids use it.

This post feels really ditzy until you’re me, reaching a breaking point of “I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. QUIT BEING CONFUSED WHEN YOU MEET ME OUT OF CHARACTER.” 😂